cougars and cuckolds

today while lunching with kat,i realise why i try to avoid one-on-one time with her.she always wants to talk to me about her r/s with xinni. i guess i'm the only one she's out to but seriously, at which point does she realise i'm not in the mood to celebrate her happiness,least of all when all she reminds me of is how well things are going with her where i failed in every aspect to keep things going with mine.she has a misconstrued idea that she has a // life with mine which is nothing further from the truth.

anyway she mentioned today that xinni had told her she might be interested in another girl, to which i assured kat that it's just a game they play to get your attention/jealousy etc.if she were, she would be furtive about it.it makes me sick that peeps her age seem to play that card from their misguided insecurities.at which point do they realise that the older partner has to suffer the insecurities of losing the one they've taken pains and sacrifice to take care of in their older disposition?

it just seems twisted that in every age-disparate relationship the older stands to always be treated as dispensible.once we've served our purpose, be it as provider,guidance counsellor,surrogate mom, etc we're chucked aside for a fresh new model.and that is the curse of the cougar.she must put up with these terms because she is destined to nurture or fall for the vulnerabilities of the younger.kat will surely have to see this herself, in her blind attempts at buying them a home,paying for her bills and spending waking hours listening to her woes despite work fatigue.the trade-off?a feeling of gratification often borne of ego and misplaced vanities.