die fabulous.

that's what i resolve to do for the possible last year of my life. it doesn't matter how it ends, but i will not degenerate physically. i will be mindful of keeping trim and fit. i still feel strong in many ways, save for that chronic pain in the left but otherwise i will not waste away and relent.

managed to be productive tonight and graded about 15 scripts in 2 hrs tucked away at the nearby kopitiam with a kickass mug of kopi.now my head is buzzing a little but i think it's more from mental exhaustion. did enjoy a few responses, spot-on, almost movingly acute. it's as if some of these kids seem to know that poem is mine haha.i can imagine their reactions when i tell them.

i guess inside i've more or less shut down. i hardly notice anyone especially. my focus is usually directed at natural elements and surroundings. as if i've detached completely from this realm of existence. perhaps i've already transcended a certain level of need. i don't even long for any form of human companionship other than my kids. the whole notion of being dependent once you connect with someone is absolutely repelling. i've learned how to embrace the solitude and buddhism fits perfectly into this notion of being alone because it is a solitary path we must take to edify ourselves and disassociate from human needs.

i'm more or less ready.

namaste.