curve.

so a year ago, if my bd 'had completely slipped (her) mind', there would've been hell to pay. can you imagine, your own partner so self-absorbed in apparently important matters to let the entire day pass w/o a peep. i guess this just made me see how things wouldn't have worked out anyway. our lives had diverged into completely separate paths -- mine to settle hers to explore.

i don't fault any of this because i can imagine and did during my uni years, being so involved in organising hall freshmen activities in the steering comm that i hardly had me-time, this while trying to take on a part-time job as a fitness instructor. being 20 was an exciting threshold of autonomy, peer approval and discovery. it made sense to go through it alone or only with like-minded individuals.

see how i've grown. i guess it all came down to timing. love is always an intrusive and elusive motherfucker.

anyway i've also come to learn finally that she is really not a very nice person. how can someone who once put every single date in a diary forget? she's become so self-important and thoughtless. it's really a whole person i don't know at all. so i'm done with this gracious compromise. even a friend wouldn't do this and we can't be friends because she really makes a lousy one.