joan of fuck

today i turn 10 in gay years. nothing phenomenal cept i'm surprised in haven't flipped straight. even my sims persona is a hot lesbian who flirts with all and sundry haha. i recall telling Lor that i came out but i didn't plan to have a r/s with anyone because i didn't think i could handle the physical expectations.boy was i wrong. i think sex with women has turned my life completely around. well, how could we not when the female form is so hott. guys are hot as much as a nice piece of ass, but i think i don't want to fuck them so much as to have their muscular definition. weird.

anyway this was the girl who did it all, the catalyst who made me realise, while married for 3 years already, that a woman can really grab you so sublimely with an emotional depth of lovers.

and boy was/is she hot. can you imagine what she looked like >10 years ago?

we were colleagues at hwa chong and i recall that strange sexual tension everytime we were in the same room. but after spending deep intense months of what was short of a physical exchange, i disclosed how i felt only to be told she was straight.haha haven't we been there. she's like a female metrosexual in the dyke world. apparently i wasn't the first. we even had that sort of quarrels over the phone (yes peeps used to call and chat at home) where she slammed the phone on me and i drove over past midnight to make amends. it wasn't surprising we were on the brink of a real r/s. she's still a good friend and she takes to joelle so well. they're very similar in artistic intensity. it was her amazing drawings which first grabbed me if i remember.

anyway, the point of this entry is that i've learned so much about r/s these past 10 years than i ever did with straight coupling. i never got a man and it was mutual. the guys i dated were either mummy's boys or gay. and the alpha male either wanted to beat me up or fuck me like a man in his closet gay leanings.

in the lesbian world i'd probably be the enigmatic androg. i've dated a spectrum from the mannish to the ultra femme, and fucked 7 women till date of which to 5 i was their first lesbian encounter/relationship. i'm not keeping score so much as to reflect on how i became so promiscuous or dysfunctional in this side of the community. i did attempt one last time to keep it together for 3.5 yrs but even that was a lost cause. i think i'm just wired to be a roaming lothario . i am born with a sexual aura which seems to attract anyone straight or gay so that's probably why i've been so fucked up, for want of better puns. i don't like who it's made me but i think when you're innately sexually attractive, you end up fulfilling that role every which way you turn. even in committed r/s i get hit on by peeps who know i'm attached. it's not something i herald but i've come to accept. which is why i can never be tied down, because ultimately the very thing which attracts someone is the same thing which tears us apart.

so yup. that's me. joan of fuck, milf slut, boi-for-hire. i'm done with any real connections anyway. the rest of you women can go weep but you're better off just using me for pleasure. and i don't mean that caustically as it may sound, but with much resigned indifference.

want.take

the comedy of virtual romance

what our sims did early this morning haha and this is what i get for fixing your leaky bowl, m 

wonder what's in store when i trim your lawn next time! it's so butch-femme dynamics like they've almost programmed it