temperate.

like the recent weather, i've learned to calibrate to a calm of neutrality, neither distant nor involved.i guess it's best that way. because people assume i'm a social creature when born with a natural charm.they think you're approachable and congenial when somedays i do mental eye-rolls at the absurdity of pretence and politeness.

anyway, it's been quite a ride in terms of finding this center, where i can be disinterested and detached, yet carry on with all dispensing platitudes and pleasantries, if only to keep the external harmony. i'm really bored with peeps and their petty needs. i just do my job and come home, fulfilled that i have earned my keep and it balances with my expenses. that again is another break-even place i maintain.

everything else has become insignificant. relationships unnecessary and acquaintances superficial. my past has dissolved into a little heap of dust waiting for time to take that away permanently.my future is even less forebodding because i don't give a toss about its outcome. i just exist and function, live and be.moment by moment, devoid of need or wants, hopes or promises. that's the ultimate elimination of suffering,forever.

and then i shall go. it calls me.

namaste.