solitude standing.

so dr ang gave her final prognosis after two consecutive days of bloodwork. she gives me about 6 months and said the fainting spells had to do with low insulin and putting me on jabs now would stabilise the problem but inversely bring on bouts of hyperglycemia leading to more spells. haha paradoxic cycles. she put me on a list for a pancreas transplant but  i don't see the point of it since according to yanny my doc friend from hwa chong, that one often rejects and like steve jobs may lead to certain death anyway. so i've resolved to just manage my life as it were and not take any undue risks. i just want to see japan w the kids in one piece

i guess that's what this final journey entails.
project end-light shall be fabulous, in dignity and style. the two things which defined my existence.

the fab moments in my 42 years:

1. learning to rollerskate on my own at 6
2. buying my first racer with savings at 12
3. riding it to breakfast alone every saturday
4. enjoying solitude in writing and drawing in my dad's den
5. having ms lee read out my compo to the class in pri 4
6. winning my first swimming medal
7. playing my farewell song composition to the sec 4 cohort
8. first stage gig in jc
9. learning to drive
10. passing at first attempt
11. first orgasm at 18
12. first salary and job at 19
13. acing the a levels
14. making lit honours
15. feeling the love of friends at wedding
16. buying first car on my own at 22
17. diving with hammer heads at layang layang
18. sipadan '97
19. joelle dec 17 '97
20. jillian oct 29 '99
21. first tattoo '01
22. coming out10 sept '01
23. completing my masters
24. first french-kiss with a girl '02
25. first public gig at zouk
26. every teachers' day card since '95
27. owning first home after divorce
28. japan with the kids dec '11
29. lexi's warm moments
30. being loved by someone since '89 

i guess i've really lived a full life, had a good run.

i can't wait to pass on to the other side
wherever that is.

namaste.

just in case.

you can post this on my fb, m