dilemmas.

so i told my kids in passing yesterday while sending them to tuition that i've a damaged left kidney and may pass on in a year from possible brain aneurysm resulting from high blood sugars. i felt it was time to be honest after all it would be worse to keep something like that from them till after it's happened.
i didn't want them to get anxious so i brushed it off as innocuous and something i could fix. but i suppose they process in different ways.
got a text this morn from jil asking if i was ok. this is exactly why i struggled with disclosing this. they don't need to take on my problems, least of all something they can't fix and i'd never burden them with anything in the first place. they're kids/ they have their own lives.sigh

i guess i'l just have to keep a positive aura through the rest of time and possibly lie that i was feeling ok all the time. that's the best way to avoid more suffering all around.

namaste.