transcending.

today at the gym i allowed myself to transcend the present while on the treadmill. i mindfully told myself to not think about anything past present or future. we can't expect to find inner peace if we keep being bothered by the banal.

one thing i've practised effectively is to breathe deep and detach whenever something triggers a sad memory, because it is pointless to dwell or introspect on things past. you can't undo or bring back anything from that sort of contemplation anyway. at most, just take something teaching point from it and avert repeating it. as for her, it is of course completely futile to long or wish. she has changed and is no longer the same person you once thought was your missing piece. on the contrary that was my deluded way of fitting someone into an idealised narrative. i now know such actions only preclude suffering. so when that happens, i tell myself to quell and shrug it off as another part of your journey to something better, whatever that may be. at best, it made me clearer about how to deal with relationships of unhealthy habit or cycles.

i'll be 42 in a few days and i'm truly looking forward. my kids were baffled by my enthusiasm to be older, but short of telling them them it is closer to final release from earthly struggles, i merely said i felt wiser and more mellowed with each year. and that certainly is a good thing.

namaste.